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Knowledge. Diplomacy. Respect and Integrity.

Helping your child through Divorce

When children are faced with divorcing parents, studies have shown that negative situations such as this put children in a state of torment. This may affect the quality of their lives causing unhappy memories and adverse effects carried with them into adulthood.

In order to approach this issue, and possibly avoid such a scenario, divorcing parents can work together co-parenting, in a cooperative way so as to make their children feel better about the break up of their family. Below we have listed some points to follow to make children feel loved and secure:

  1. Don't blame your spouse for a divorce, but instead work ahead towards a co-parenting plan. Seek divorce counseling when needed.
  2. When discussing your child's parent (your ex) refrain from making negative/derogatory comments.
  3. Do not use your child as a pawn in trying to gain custody. It will usually backfire on you.
  4. If you have previously left the child feeling bad over a divorce or separation issue, make every effort to correct it.
  5. When attending divorce mediation, attempt to amicably resolve your custody timeshare rather than drawing it out into a long battle.
  6. Refrain from arguing with your spouse especially in front of the children.
  7. Praise your child for doing well. This will help your child's self esteem, and allow your child to mentally grow up in a positive light.
  8. Have time with your child one on one often. Go to museums, parks and places that will allow you to spend quality time together. Simple age appropriate activities such as bike riding, a trip to the beach or reading books can do a lot.
  9. When you and your Ex don't agree, try to use the give and take approach, attempting to respect each others differences. This may help later when you need a visitation "favor".
  10. Once you are divorced, try to co-parent as a mother and father should. You are no longer husband and wife but keep in mind you are still the mother and father.

Following these 10 steps to successful co-parenting can encourage a positive outlook for your children. It should help them feel loved and prove you to be good role model as a parent.